Daveosaurus (southerndave) wrote,

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And it's the grand finale

So this was Rusty's grand finale as boss of the new Doctor Who. As with a lot of his output, it was decent enough but with a distinct undertone of "could do better".

Gallifrey these days really does have a very Death Star look to its décor.

... A couple of minutes in and the Time Lords are already going quite batshit. At least the President is.

I'd like to know who the actor playing the Time Lord archivist is. Looks almost, but not quite, as if it could be Craig Charles. That would explain... something that really shouldn't be explained, probably...

"Earth... Earth... Earth... Earth..." Someone give that old lady a thump on the back: it seems she's choking on something...

"Your dad's still kicking up a fuss." "... I'd be proud if he was!"

"... What did I do?" Let that be a lesson, Masters: don't piss off the ginga...

"We could travel the universe!" ... "Wonder what I'd be without you" ... And around the world, hordes of slashers start going completely crazy. Good one, Doctor and Master both...

"Triangulate all six billion signals - you could find the source!" ... That's a bit of a long skinny triangle, though, isn't it?

"God bless the cactuses!" "That's cacti". "That's racist!"

"... Worst. Rescue. Ever!"

"Oh my goodness me. We're in space!" ... And the spaceship has noticeably dirty windows. Even on spaceships, it seems, they have trouble getting window cleaners... Just mustn't be ladders long enough to reach orbit.

"We're not leaving." *Zap* and the lights go out. Did you really mean to turn off the entire spaceship?

"... Oh blimey." Wilfred realises that the Doctor doesn't have a plan.

"Night has fallen." ... Not in this time zone it won't have. And in Beijing it will probably be not long before dawn. What sort of Time Lord school did the Master go to that he didn't even learn basic astronomy?

... All right, this shooting down missiles with lasers scene is great fun and all that, but isn't it really just five minutes' worth of padding?

... So Gallifrey has just blinked into existence right next to Earth. That is going to play silly buggers with gravity...

Dear Time Lords: When the Master seems to think you've all gone batshit, there's a good chance that you've got real problems...

... And now the Master's changed his mind and is going along with what they're doing anyway. That fairly much settles the matter, doesn't it? Time Lords, you've hit rock bottom...

... "Which one of us?" Am I the only person who immediately starts thinking: just shoot that bloody diamond?

... Now the Time Lords have the Infinity Gauntlet. That glove does get around. Poor Thanos.

... Wait, did I miss something? That was it? That was actually a particularly low-key denouement: the Master and the Time Lords are out of the picture and it's just the Doctor, Wilfred and some sort of pseudoscientific doublespeak "nuclear bolt". And after all this, the Time Lords really were rather inconsequential to the plot, weren't they?

"... Did I miss something again?" Poor, poor Donna. Not even with her memories back after all this crap.

Mickey... and Martha? Mind you, if I was Mickey, I wouldn't be complaining... apart from anything else, Martha is really rather hot in combat gear...

And now a scene which may as well be set on Mos Eisley for all anyone knows. There's one of whatever bunch of aliens the Slitheen were, and a cute little Adipose falling off the bar (oops...) and as for Alonso... that has got to be George from Being Human. Boy, is Captain Jack going to be in for quite a surprise on the next full moon... that's assuming there's moons on that planet they're on...

And now Donna gets... the lottery ticket. Well, that's probably actually the most sensible thing a time traveller could get you. As long as he's got the right week...

"The universe will sing you to your sleep." Now that's creepy: a choir of Ood...

I notice that his right hand is the first bit of him to start regenerating. The hand he re-grew during the original Christmas Invasion. Is this a case of "last on, first off"?

And the new Doctor gets his first words. "Legs. I've still got legs. Good." ... He's looking good and manic and hyperactive so far. Wonder how he's going to be once he settles down.

And, lastly, a suggestion that's really going to put the cat among the fannish pigeons: he's acting as if it's possible that he could have regenerated into a woman (he wasn't quite sure what he'd regenerated into at first). Looks like some very interesting fan theories are going to start circulating right about... eight weeks ago, now...
Tags: tv: doctor who
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