Anyway on to the show. ... Now that wasn't who I expected to see jumping out of the cake at Amy's fiancé's stag party.
"I like the ones who say 'it's bigger on the inside than the outside!' " Poor Doctor doesn't like missing out on the chance to explain things, does he?
"According to this, I am your... eunuch." "I'll explain later."
The Queen Vampire's chief hanger-on might have been a bit more impressive if he hadn't looked like Richard Hammond trying to be Edmund Blackadder...
OK... if this is Venice and the Doctor's just gone underground to Scary Vampire Girlsville... how come he isn't under water?
Horrible realisation: the Doctor has just met a bunch of 16th-century Twilight fans...
"Most people just nick stationery from where they work."
"It makes you wonder what's so bad that they want you to think that they're vampires".
I wonder what the Venetians would be making of a Gondolier wearing a "Rory's Stag Party" T-shirt...
"I have a right to know! I'm getting married in four hundred and thirty years!"
"And you kissed her back?" "No, I kissed her mouth."
... Oh flaming norah. The Doctor's got a lightsabre. Complete with sound effects.
"You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around." That's the Doctor told. I wonder if he will listen.
... So this time the vampires are aliens. Like Aliens aliens, even.
"They're not vampires, they're aliens!" "That's good news." "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?"
"Where are you from?" "Gallifrey." "You should be in a museum. Or a mausoleum."
"I'm a Time Lord. You're a big fish. Think of the children."
... And Chekhov's gunpowder has just gone "boom".
"... Did you say something about Mummy?" OBJECTION: No gas mask involved.